Hippoi Athanatoi

For funniest comment from a Guest in a long, long time, that is:

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Internet communities, sometimes the ultimate in us vs them. From WORA to “Is Winter Coming?” to ONTD and its tumblr cliques, the similarities are interesting. Some of these communities are more directly aimed at ranting about something and/or making fun of something. Some do it more as a hobby on the side. In fact, there’s even an example of it on the ASoIaF forums in the long-running thread of Goodkind jokes.

I don’t get this, myself. Yes, there are things I will laugh at and point fingers at. But its usually jokes I share with someone in RL, not something I post on the Internet where, eventually, it may get back to the person (or other community) being singled out. Doing that sort of thing as part of a group is inexcusable. What I will do on the Internet, on the other hand, is to happily and with much enjoyment say FUCK YOU to anyone who thinks I make a good target.

Most people just put up with it, but I’ve never put up with bullying and that is exactly what it is. I just love seeing how it always follows the same patterns with these groups. If you fire back when you’re being laughed at or vilified, you’re quickly turned into Group Enemy #1 and the group acts like sharks when there’s blood in the water. They go all out to try and prove that its not worth it to try and interfere with their fun or make the point that they are the ones in the wrong. Effectively, they try to silence you, because the group is always right. Most of the time, they no doubt succeed. Not with me, though.

Ah well. Internet-anonymity has some legitimate uses, I won’t deny that, but for the most part people just treat it as a license to be assholes and turn into lynch mobs.

The question of race in A Song of Ice and Fire came up during the initial airing of Game of Thrones and, more recently, with the casting of actors of completely incorrect ethnicities for various roles for season two. My stance is that of a pretty hardcore purist: you don’t change a character that radically. Yes, you can’t get actors that look exactly right, but colour-blind (or for that matter, gender-blind) casting is not something that should be practised when adapting a book. As I have said more than once more, I find it particularly aggravating that it seems very likely that it was done because a few PC critics whined that the show was too white during the first season. Which, of course, lead to complaints about the books being too white. I don’t personally think this is a relevant complaint (it makes perfect sense that Westeros, which is the focus of the story, is a very white society—with the exception of Dorne, of course) and regardless of that the show shouldn’t be trying to correct a perceived error.

But what does all of this have to do with MUSHing in general and Blood of Dragons in particular?

A few days ago, Kate Elliott and Katherine Kerr both posted on their LJs about women and fantasy. Now, gender issues aren’t perhaps my favourite issues, but this time the subject caught my attention because I do think we’ve seen a frustrating development of fantasy in the last decade. Male writers write more and more “macho” stuff (gritty, violent, bleak, etc) and female writers write more and more romance.

I like the middle ground. ASoIaF is, for me, part of the middle ground, though it seems clear that certain aspects of it are the reason for the male writers going towards one end of the spectrum. The reason for the female writers moving towards the other end seems like it is often publisher-driven; they are being told its the only thing that sells.

I used to read a pretty equal amount of male and female authors. I didn’t care (and I still don’t) about the gender of the author. But what has happened over the last years is that I’ve pretty much stopped picking up new male authors. Not because they’re male but because they don’t write anything I am interested in.

Elio and I used to read a lot of the same things. Now it pretty much only happens with authors we were already reading, not with new authors. And it seems to be harder and harder to find the sort of middle ground fantasy that I like.

As a bit of an offshoot of this train of thought, I ended up considering the authors that get discussed (and that post) on the Westeros forums. I rather wish we had some female authors show up as well. There are plenty that ought to appeal to readers of ASoIaF, unless they are of the variety that never reads any other fantasy.

Everyone who is a Reader has them, I think. Formative books that, even though we may not have read them for many, many years, loom large in our imagination. If they are hard to find, they often become a nagging voice at the back of your mind, cropping up when you least expect it. Given my obsession with making lists on paper or just in my head for various experiences (I suppose one has to call it rather OCD to have this constant urge to catalogue ones life), I have had a habit of constantly revisiting—at least in memory—various books from my childhood. I hate forgetting any pleasant experiences (the unpleasant ones I never seem to forget anyway) and books certainly fall under that.

Some books, however, take very little effort to remember. Such as the quartet of YA fantasy books from Geraldine Harris called The Seven Citadels. The first part was published in Swedish in 1985, so I was 11 then. I wasn’t, if I recall things correctly, much of a fantasy reader as of yet. Though, it was close; I was a voracious reader of myths and legends, with a good helping of children’s and YA historicals on the side. My heroes were Achilleus and Sir Lancelot and I could list all the principal Norse, Greek and Egyptian deities with ease. In fact, I believe I owned a book on Egyptian mythology by the same Geraldine Harris, but I don’t think I noticed this until much later.

Then I spotted the cover for the first book, Prince of the Godborn, among the new arrivals at the library. It caught my attention and I borrowed the book. And fell in love with it. I vividly recall how the third book,

We’re well into July now and I haven’t been near a horse for weeks (sigh), so I am dealing with missing the stable by briefly recapping what happened during May and June. For next semester, I’ll need to find some new motivation to write more promptly; I am planning a website redesign and some more integration with Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and whatever else it is that I am trying to keep up with these days, so perhaps that will encourage me.

Going back to May, I had a good jumping lesson on Nelson to start it off. I really liked riding him on the new noseband that they tried out, though later they shifted back again. I did remember what I had learned the previous jumping lesson and rode him with short reins and high hands, which gave me good control over his short little neck.

The dressage lesson after that ended up being on Ricky, a smaller pony I haven’t ridden for years. I had to get used to what I could ask of him—he needs to really get his back end started first, before you even think about his head—but he’s a great mover and once I did less he worked very well. At the end, as we were winding them down, he trotted in great balance on entirely slack reins. Just a little added leg pressure was needed if he started slipping. Such a sweetie, even when he got tired and needed some extra rest since he rarely works that hard.

After that we had a theory lesson that I missed and then a dressage lesson on Shanti. She gave me some great trotting and walking and very nice leg yields, though I need to keep in mind that she’s very good at just bending her neck and pretending. Getting those hind legs working properly is tricky. For the canter, I have to work on getting my aids to be much softer, but still determined. I also need to keep my hands up, especially my inner, and be aware that she finds collection hard and easily drops down to a trot if I lower my inner hand. Her head can be a bit unsteady, but calm hands are essential.

Following that, we did our dressage program on the next Friday. I was a bit nervous about riding Shanti after the lesson on Tuesday, but I started off very determined during the warm-up and I got some lovely canter outside. I also got her to really trot, using her whole back and hind legs. During the actual program, I did let her curl up a bit too much, which resulted in a wobbly form. However, I did get one great canter with exclamation marks after so I was very pleased and I really want to do it soon again. I get so nervous even before a mock-contest, but I love the feeling.

The final lesson in May was dressage on Nelson. A new horse caused a commotion at first (threw his rider, ran many laps around the paddock), then we got started properly. I had to work on Nelson’s rhythm, but once I was consistent about that and stopped worrying about his head, he came together better. He gave me some excellent canter and Ulrika said I was much calmer from riding Shanti. Nelson really waited for me and kept himself balanced throughout the canter. We rode diagonals with at least two changes of gait, and this worked very well to get me in the right mindset. I do need to keep focusing on not overdoing my aids and also on relaxing and bending my knees and also relaxing and bending my elbows to raise my hands (but not widen them).

Our last two lessons in June consisted of a very relaxing, cosy trek on Nelson and finally a bareback dressage lesson for the finale. I did a bit of bareback riding on Murphy and a lot of riding without stirrups on him and I really need to get back to it. It does wonders for my balance, though trotting Nelson was very hard. Still, I stayed on even throughout most of the little mini-contest Ulrika surprised us with; I only slipped off when we did a fully turn in the saddle as I couldn’t get my leg up high enough with my stiff back and it caught a bit on his neck. I had a close call, as well. The last challenge was to start cantering on a long rein, which Nelson did just fine…and then he thought that no rein meant “whee, run as fast as you can” so the acceleration almost had me off.

Apparently, there was a reaction to my earlier post.

I made the choice to post my complaints on our personal lj and personal website rather than on Westeros, so I am not sure how this translates to “upset people on a Game of Thrones-forum”. I have no doubt there would be a lot of eyes rolled if I did point the board to that post, but this was all about me rolling my eyes, not trying to set a pack of hounds on anyone. ;)

Oh well. Nice bit of attempted martyrdom there, by making it sound as if she was set upon by rabid fans upset by her complaints. I wonder if the assumption is also that its mostly male fans?

I already wrote some about the complaints regarding supposed sexism and racism in Game of Thrones, but with more and more commentary along those lines cropping up—not the least from, alas, overly PC commentators in Sweden—I find I have more to get off my chest.

Take this little gem, for example. Of course, its in Swedish, which makes it a bit odd for me to write this in English, but…its just a habit of mine. The gist of it is that while the book is exciting plot-wise, its horribly sexist and clearly written by a man, with an awful lot of focus on how good it is to be macho and manly. Oh, and it doesn’t “problematise” any of the gender roles it presents.

Can I start by saying I am somewhat allergic to the word “problematise”? Its one of those handy words that teachers—especially Lit. teachers—love to throw in when they don’t have other, more specific instructions to give about an assignment. It makes it all sounds so important and academic. Which is fine, for the most part, in an academic setting, but that’s the place for taking apart books and ascribing meanings to them by studying them through an arbitrarily chosen literary theory which you’re determined to make use of, never mind how poorly suited it is to the task. And where authorial intent doesn’t count for anything. Oops, is my annoyance with my current class showing? Just a little, maybe. But in any case, I do not want every book that I open to “problematise” whatever subjects it deals with. I want it to present those subjects as part of the story and without the addition of big red flags to draw my attention to them. Instead, I want my involvement with the characters, the plot and the world to lead me to think about the underlying themes of the story. I hate being preached to.

So, no, I do not think it is a problem if there is a lack of “problematising” of gender issues in A Song of Ice and Fire. In fact, I am glad there isn’t any overt attempts to do so. I do not need to have it pointed out to me that from a woman’s point of view (or from a peasant’s point of view, for that matter) the world of Westeros can be a pretty sucky place where the fact is that you are often reduced to just a brood mare. If you are interested in the characters and their stories, you will be affected by their plight, whether they are women or men, lords or peasants. The story can speak for itself, especially when populated by characters who are anything other than one-dimensional. Yes, some of them may seem that way initially, but the whole story is very much like an onion; layer by layer, you learn new things and your early perceptions are challenged.

Then all the complaints about the prevalence of rapes and of whores in the story, and the complaints about the language (what’s wrong with “manhood”, anyway?)... So, what do we want? Do we want sexless fantasy or do we want gritty fantasy that doesn’t shy away from the realities of war? Or does it have to be middle-of-the-road? How about we’re allowed to have a bit of everything, actually? Combining the high and low in the way that is done in A Song of Ice and Fire, how is that not an interesting stylistic and narrative choice? One that goes through much of the story? This ties into the complaints about the “macho” feel of the story. Uhm, hello? Medieval-inspired world, a heavily chivalric culture? What the heck do you expect? And that, I might add, places demands on female as well as male characters. In fact, earlier during my current class (Literature B, at the University of Gothenburg), we read an early Swedish biography by a woman and one of the articles discussing it noted how sexist towards men the chivalric ideals could be. Living up to the demands placed on them by other men as well as women was probably not easy and we see that in A Song of Ice and Fire as well. There are scenes that one could say glorifies the knightly culture of courage and violence and there are scenes that clearly show it in a very different light.

Oh, and when it comes to Dany’s scene with Drogo…I don’t have any problems with seeing how that scene works in the books. She’s a woman—albeit a very young woman—in a precarious, frightening position. Someone taking their time to make her comfortable, when she was fearing something terrible, would make a big impact on her. But she would still be frightened and emotionally sensitive, which means she would be very easily influenced. I have no problem at all seeing how Drogo could, essentially, seduce her, even if it wasn’t with a romantic dinner for two.

The final nail in the coffin of “is this reviewer worth listening to” for the post linked above would have to be the conclusion, a recommendation to read Robin Hobb. Contrasted with note right before, that GRRM is a man, it stinks of sexism. I love Hobb, but please, can we not care about the gender of the writers?

Where did March go? And April, for that matter? Ah well.

For the most part, other than when the car decided to act up, I have been riding weekly as usual. All of March was spent on Nelson, for three dressage lessons and one jumping lesson (plus a theory lesson to discuss the dressage test we’ll be riding in May), and there was in fact some significant progress. Being very firm right off about what’s allowed in terms of rushing away with me certainly helps, though after any break or if Nelson starts to get tired, the lesson is soon forgotten. I had some great results one lesson when we were focusing on “just” riding straight down the center line. Single-minded focus on such a precise task always means I am less fiddly with my aids, resulting in a softer, more relaxed horse. Nelson almost seemed on the verge of spontaneous passage at times when moving up was easier than forward in a straight line.

Another revelatory lesson was with a substitute teacher who employed a different approach than Ulrika. I am a little bit torn on whether it is a good approach or not, but it was certainly very efficient on Nelson in particular. Basically, she asked us to start by shortening the horses so that they’d find it hard to work in such a compressed form and come forward and down because of that (and of course be allowed to come forward and down). For Nelson, it worked very well. He likes to stick his head up and drop his back, but now he found he was simply asked to shorten and shorten whenever he did that, so eventually he came forward and down instead. We also worked on leg yields, with strict orders to keep the horses from slipping away with us, and when we got to the canter leg yields—we never really do this other wise—I had an amazing canter from Nelson. I could have dropped the reins.

Still, is it a good approach? Ulrika usually wants us to engage the hindquarters by riding the horses forward to the hand, not backing them up like this. I certainly have a tendency to collect too much on some horses rather than ride forward and get everything engaged that way. In most cases, I can tell its wrong after I try riding forward instead, but on Nelson its often very hard to get through to him by riding him to the hand.

We concluded March with a jumping lesson where I was perhaps too influenced by the dressage and held Nelson back too much to begin with. But I also had some issues with my back being stiff again.

April started off with Nelson ignoring me completely for the first part of one lesson as he had an abundance of energy. That earned him a stern talking to and all of a sudden he wanted to work. He is definitely starting to get the picture. The week after, however, I was on Shanti instead. We continued to work on turns on the haunches as we had the week before, though most of my focus that lesson was on dealing with some new issues with my seat. Or rather, not new issues, but issues that Ulrika have decided to tackle now that some of the others are out of the way. So, we have been trying to improve my knees as they grip too much and lead to a tense lower leg that is too forward. Shanti,  of course, was lovely and talented.

Following a missed lesson, last week saw me back on Nelson for some jumping in the paddock. We had a new noseband on him and I really like the effect it had; I think that for my next dressage lesson, I will try him without the help reins he’s normally fitted with. I found that (just as on my dear Murphy, still sorely missed every week) when he comes forward without the help reins, his form is better than with the help reins. As for the jumping, we were asked to do gymnastic work, keeping the horses quite short. It went quite well when we jumped on a serpentine-path, but when jumping straight down the line I wasn’t able to hold Nelson together all the way. I think I made the mistake of lowering my hands instead of keeping them up, which made it easier for him to get away.

So, that’s where we are right now. Still all of May to go and a few lessons in June before the summer break. Unfortunately, Heddvig won’t be back after the summer, her owner is taking her home again. I hope she will get well enough before the summer break that I get to ride her again and next semester…well, we’ll see. There’s Nelson and Shanti, but I may have to look at moving to private lessons plus lessons at another stable where they have lovely medium-sized Andalusians.

Its a year today, but I really do still miss Murphy like it was yesterday. Best little Irish horse ever, stubborn as sin at times and grumpy too, but with such a heart. I can still see him looking over the side of his stall when I was somewhere else in the stable. Mind you, I don’t have any illusions about why; mostly he wanted more treats. But the way he made such efforts for me when I rode him, he must have liked it too. I certainly did.

The summary of February’s lessons ought to have been done a while ago, but we have had (and continues to have) a wealth of Game of Thrones news to tackle which have distracted me rather completely. I am also finding myself preoccupied with reflecting on my writing, not just for these lesson reports but in general. I feel like it has stagnated, in part because I read less than I used to and in part because I am finding that it always comes out so…superficial. Why? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I know my academic writing suffers from my lack of confidence, and it probably plays a part in other kinds of writing too.

But, that’s enough meandering thoughts for now. Last month started off with a dressage lesson on Shanti, the very well-trained not-quite-pony. Since I had mentioned my back issues in a previous post, Ulrika suggested some improvements to my seat that might help. In particular, she felt I wasn’t using my seat bones as well as I could. Certainly, making those changes made for a much better lesson on Shanti than my first and my back felt fine afterwards.

The week after that I was back on Nelson. I tried to find the same sort of seat on him, but I could soon tell that part of the reason my back has been worse since I started riding Nelson is his saddle. Its quite short and deep, making it difficult for me to sit well in it. However, after a rocky start where it felt as if I had two horses instead of one due to the complete lack of connection between front and back, the leg yields we were doing suddenly got through to Nelson. He found his balance and gave me a wonderful trot. Afterwards, I asked Ulrika about the suddenness of that change, and she felt it isn’t uncommon with horses like Nelson who are very heavy on the forehand. Once they do find a better balance and softer and more flexible, it can go from bad to good very quickly.

After that followed a jumping lesson which also included some interesting revelations. As we were warming up, Ulrika told me to shorten my reins quite a bit, saying that because Nelson has such a short neck I could keep them much shorter than what feels right to start with to get my elbows in the right position. It made an amazing difference to the control I had over Nelson. Suddenly I was in just the right position to smoothly control tempo and turns, plus it improved my balance and the way I followed along with his jumps. I could more or less hold onto his ears and be fine, it seems, and clearly I have been jumping him on too much of a “dressage length” rein.

The month finished off with a very tough lesson from a substitute teacher. I was on Nelson again and he was incredibly frisky. We did do some leg yields that helped me get him a bit more under control, but he spent most of the lesson trying to run faster and faster. The pace of the lesson didn’t give me much time to consider what to do and all the trotting just wound him up more and more. The end result was mostly very sore arms.

A new month and another Tuesday. What have I learned so far this semester?

Well, we started off with a not-so-soft start (then again, the break was pretty short). We worked with lateral movement, using that to have the horses naturally fall into a slower pace with more “wait” built into each stride. A good exercise for Nelson who isn’t one for waiting, though I struggled a bit with not interfering as soon as he slowed down a bit. As with the canter, I need to learn to leave more up to the horse. Ulrika also spotted some issues with my knees getting a bit “stuck” and my lower legs tensing in place as a result of that. So that’s one thing to focus on during this semester; a nice long and relaxed leg.

The second lesson was jumping, and I was halfways off Nelson on a couple of occasions. Ulrika wanted us to jump the horses in a way that would gymasticise them; get in close and get high, round jumps. Another exercise in waiting, both for me and Nelson. Learning to trust the horses to move without me badgering them is still a work in progress. Do less, but be more effective, that’s what I have to keep in mind.

The third lesson was theory and I missed out on it due to a deadline for an exam. Normally, I plan a bit better than that, but January was sort of eaten by my application to the doctoral program (which I won’t know anything about for months).

Finally, last week it was all about serpentines and another new discovery with Nelson. Even when he is more off the forehand (as he was after the serpentines), he still feels heavy. So, I need to try and trust that he will carry himself and not just keep holding him up. I also need to work on my canter seat again; my inner foot wasn’t down enough but at the same time my outer hip wasn’t back enough.

Unfortunately, I think this is now due to my back issues to some degree. Something about riding is hurting my back each week and has been doing for…well, at least 6 months and maybe more than that. I have no idea why it started, or what to do about it, but its becoming a real issue. The sit-ups that strengthened my stomach and helped with my back before aren’t doing anything for this lower back pain/weakness. We’ll see how it goes today.

Well, that was a bit of a break. A month and a half of no riding reports, in fact, though just two actual lessons missed. First I missed one lesson due to illness and then I passed on a theory lesson because it was so darn cold (we’re having the coldest December in 110 years, though for the most part I am loving it) and because we were having a substitute instructor anyway. For theory, that usually means watching some video, and I didn’t feel up to braving the cold for that.

The last two weeks before Christmas (but not last Tuesday, the stable was closed for the holidays until yesterday), however, I did get to ride. First, a new acquaintance, Shanti. Shanti is a modern “sport” pony type, bred for performance, and perform she definitely did. She is just on the verge of becoming a horse rather than a pony, or possible just over that limit now, but she moves like quite a lot of horse. Either she or possibly her full sister became the 4th best dresssage pony in Sweden last year. She was incredibly different from Heddvig and Nelson and I actually had a lot of issues adjusting to her. My aids are sort of tuned to less refined controls.

For the last lesson of the year I rode Nelson. Like last year, we did a little mini contest. Most canter strides from point A to point B, represented by a pair of rails on the ground (and with some thinking involved to pick the smartest path), least trotting strides from A to B, sideways movement along one or two rails with one set of legs on each side, least canter strides from point A to B and most steps in reverse. I did rather better last year on Fleur, alas. My back was too stiff to ride a short canter for the first test, so I just allowed Nelson to gallop on as he preferred so he wouldn’t start trotting instead. Then, of course, he was keyed up and ended up galloping in the trotting section, for 0 points. He also totally refused to move sideways across the rails, though he did show himself very able to go backwards. He did do well on the “least canter strides” test and really well reversing, but we still came in last. But fun, even so.

Today’s lesson will get a few words later on; still thinking about a new approach to rekindle my interest in writing in a timely fashion. Of course, work and school has sort of been eating up my writing energy.

Looks like last week’s lesson post was misplaced. Together with this weeks its a good example of ups and downs.

I rode Heddvig for dressage last week and afterwards I felt better about it than I have had for a while. We worked a lot on a slightly smaller rectangle than usual and (as always) I found that not having the wall right there on one side really makes me pay attention to my outside aids. Now if I could only get that into my head when the wall is there, too. The main exercise other than that was riding the horse into a halt and then creating a distinct inner side so that we could control which front leg the horse would start moving on. We then tried to take that with us to canter transitions, and I think I managed to be pretty decisive but not too over-active in the transitions this time.

Today, then, I jumped Nelson. The weather (we’re having a bit of a surprise snow storm—almost got it for my birthday again, like when we snowed in some 15 years ago) made him very lively and since I don’t use the help reins when jumping, he pretty much stuck his head straight up and rushed on. I thought my arms would fall out after 10 minutes or so.

Once we started jumping it did improve a bit, since his canter is better than his trot, but by then my brain was kind of scrambled from trying desperately for the first half of the lesson to figure out how on earth to get him to listen to me. I think the way he moved rattled my head too much. ;P

Last week we did more of the same canter exercises as the week before, with a few more things going my way. My back wasn’t as bad, at least not to start with, and I tried to focus on being decisive from the start. I also tried to remind myself to look out over the horse’s outer ear when cantering to get my hips aligned right.

Nelson did end up listening to me more quickly about not just rushing onwards since I put my foot down about that from the start. However, he found another way out of the work; dropping out of the canter earlier and earlier each time. He knew we’d start trotting as soon as we reached the corner, so he pushed the transition further and further back. Once I got around to doing something about it we had to have a bit of an argument which included the firm application of heels (I had set my whip aside because the snow had made him pretty frisky), followed by some bucking and concluding in grudging agreement.

I still didn’t sit the canter very well for the most part, however. And when Ulrika mentioned that I didn’t need to work so hard on Nelson, because he’s got a really good canter so I don’t have to work at it like I was riding Murphy, it really hit me again how much I miss him. I really like Heddvig and Nelson, but its not…well, special. I don’t feel the same connection. But I’ll keep at it, because I do need to keep riding.