This Tuesday, the spring semester starter. A week earlier than usual, so I was a bit concerned about the weigh-in, seeing how close to Christmas it was. But it worked out fine, so I have the same selection of horses as the last few semesters, including Murphy. I didn’t get him, though. We were doing more canter work, so she put me on Gamir so I could concentrate on myself instead of having to help out Murphy so much. As always, getting Gamir ready is a bit unsettling, as he can get really grumpy, but I found that bribing him worked really well to distract him when he was being saddled. He’s not at all mean-spirited, he just has bad associations to being saddled, so distracting him is a pretty good method.
Gamir also felt more supple than usual from the get-go, not at all as stiff as he was once or twice before Christmas. It wasn’t that cold, though, so that probably had an effect. Still, I started out too cautiously, and as usual was told that I need to be more assertive and earlier as well. I am just such a softie. ;P Though, to some degree it has to do with issues I have with seemingly contradictory instructions, and this was something I ended up bringing up during the lesson as well.
We ended up doing an exercise of half trot, half canter, with a few circles of different sizes. We were supposed to focus on straightness on the straight paths and the right amount of curving on the curved paths as well as on good transitions. Getting the basics right is easy on Gamir, who is very well-trained and obedient. Actually getting him to move through his whole body and use his back right is hard, not the least for someone like me who thinks backwards more than forewards unless she’s on a really lazy horse.
And that brings us back to the contradictions. One of them being getting the horse to go forward but not through working too much yourself. Whenever I am told to ask more of a horse, instead I ask more of myself, and invariably I start flapping arms, clenching with my legs and doing all the wrong things. Not quite as coarsely as that sounds, but that’s the general idea. I try too hard and I forget all about finesse.
The other contradiction follows on this one. When my instructor asks me to create more of a connection between the front end and the back end of the horse, she often (like most other instructors) uses the word tension in there somewhere. And that has become hardwired into my brain to translate into me tensing up. I tighten the grip on the reins, I clench my seat muscles and I grab on with my legs. Yesterday, she pointed out that I really need to let the movement and power flow through the horse instead of just trying to bunch it up in a little ball before it even gets anywhere.
That’s when I noted to her that my brain and body can’t seem to process the idea of creating ‘tension’ at the same time as the idea of letting the movement through unrestricted. I tense up in all sorts of ways. She agreed that certain terms can create unfortunate mental images and physical responses and that the input from an instructor can be very hit and miss. They see something, they try to describe it, the student tries to understand it and the student tries to do it. Lots of places where wires can get crossed.
But at least this got me thinking about these apparent contradictions, which I think are at the root of some of my persistent problems.