Going to the stables this Tuesday wasn’t easy, but in the end I decided it was best to get it over with. I suppose it won’t be as bad from now on, now that I’ve been there once with no Murphy waiting for a treat in his stall. But I am not looking forward to it in the same way. The riding still helps me refocus and clear my mind, but going to the stables has lost some of its lustre when “my” horse isn’t there.
Still, Heddvig is a darling. A very opinionated darling, but I do like those best. And we are making progress. Just some weeks ago, I could not canter her without helping her out with a little tap of the whip on her shoulder. Now she is taking canter cues much, much better. We even counter-cantered several times, and kept it up past a (very shallow) corner. I am not sure if the instructors have been riding her some to get her to improve like this or if its more a matter of me figuring out how she works. Either way, it does feel good to make that sort of progress.
However, I keep thinking of how far Murphy and I had gotten. I had gone years and years without getting to feel a horse being really soft, focused and fully engaged, as well as really connected to me, and now I miss that feeling. There’s always a connection with the horse when you’re riding (well, unless its going very badly), but when everything really clicks, its different. Sometimes just for a few strides, but still enough to put a silly grin on my face. I’ve come home from such lessons feeling euphoric, and I don’t know when that will ever happen again.
The limited selection of horses (Heddvig, and occasionally Nelson) certainly doesn’t make it very likely, and it also worries me in general. I will be looking at options, but I love riding at Kongahälla. We did get two new horses this week; one a pony from Germany with zebra-stripes (I’ve never seen such strong dun-markings before, including bold stripes on the withers and on his forehead) and one a beautiful grey which may very well have some Spanish blood. I really wish he was a little smaller, he seemed friendly, sensible and very charming.